Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
