Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
