So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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