Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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