He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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