So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
