I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
