i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
