You're completely useless in the revolution.
this beer tastes like vomit already
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
