we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
