This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
