Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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