Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
