Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
