Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
