no, he came in my armpit
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
