It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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