Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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