My nipple is on Facebook.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
