Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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