how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
