I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
