yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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