so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize