i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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