Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
