isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize