Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
