i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You pole danced in your parka.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
