i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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