dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
