Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
