Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
