I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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