Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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