Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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