I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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