I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
God, I missed his penis.
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