i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
