carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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