we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
