too bad you live with your parents still
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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