Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
