and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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