STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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