I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
porn star boner night. come get it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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