dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
