Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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