Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
