Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
