and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
