you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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