did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
