I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
