Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
