I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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