His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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