cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
