UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
