Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
