I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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