At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
