Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
