We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
