I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
