She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
