Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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