I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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