i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
