I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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