Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I love how my cats smell like pot.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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