I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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