dude i'm inner monologue high
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
